Pinguys #4 Guyline Tensioners for 550 Paracord, 4 Pack

In my callow youth I actually tried to use paracord as a guyline substitute. I was Captain Milspec, after all. I wore military surplus clothes, I rocked military surplus gear (especially with all my airsoft stuff), and if it was good enough for the military I decided it was good enough for me.

Of course I learned the inherent drawback in this plan pretty quickly, which I can quote to you now that I'm older and ostensibly wiser: Paracord is a poor choice for use as a guyline because it stretches, which is a property that's designed right into it by its very nature. Get it tight and so sooner have you turned your back than you find that it's sagged slightly and you get to do it all over again. If it gets wet, it stretches even more.

That doesn't keep the stuff from being so darn useful all around the campsite for tons of other stuff, though, and for that I present to you the slightly larger #4 size of the Pinguys line tensioners. This larger size is specifically designed for the diameter of 550 size paracord, i.e. the most common type, and will work with similar cordages in the range of 4, 4.5, or 5mm or so in diameter.

If you've got a length of cord and you need it pulled tight, and you can't be bothered to tie a knot in it, Pinguys are your friends!



Pinguys are light: Just 3.6 grams each, significantly lighter than the many of the other cord camming whatsamajigs available on the market. (I am by no means brave enough to claim "all," because I have not researched this extensively due to the simple expedient that I cannot be bothered.)

Pinguys are strong: The word "unbreakable" gets thrown around a lot these days, but I'm pretty confident in saying that there aren't a whole heck of a lot of terrestrial applications you'd be able to put one of these to and actually manage to snap it. Pinguys are printed in polycarbonate — that's the same stuff they make safety glasses out of — and I've load tested them to an impressive 70 kilograms. That's 154 pounds! At that load they did not break, but rather the paracord around them stretched and slipped. Thus it's likely that something dramatic will happen to you elsewhere before you ever manage to snap one of these. They bend, but they don't break.

Pinguys are versatile: If you're one of those guys who uses paracord for damn near everything, having a couple of these in your pack, toolbox, or glove compartment is sure to make your day easier in all kinds of ways. You can use them to pull a length of paracord taut for just about any purpose without having to tie or, more importantly, untie any knots in it. Clothes drying lines, tying down tarps, bundling up firewood, lashing down loose junk in the back of your truck or UTV... I'm sure you can think of plenty of uses.

Pinguys are multipurpose: The beak makes a dandy substitute for a marlinspike if you need to undo a recalcitrant knot. You get plenty of leverage against it, too. They also make excellent keychain doodads. I wouldn't put it past anybody to figure out a way to open a beer with one, either.

Pinguys are cheap: They're like a quarter of the cost per unit as my nearest big name competitor you might find at the hardware store, the one whose name rhymes with "bite flies." And they come in a cute little envelope pack I stick a stamp on and I mail 'em to you just like a postcard.

Pinguys are easy to use: I provide pictorial instructions for two simple ways to lock a line to one of these, but truth be told you can probably just wrap your cord under its wings any old how and it'll hold solid.

Pinguys are convenient: Setting up and tearing down are a snap. Doing these up and, importantly, undoing them takes like two seconds. You can even leave your Pinguys on your cords and pack them up just as-is, so you'll never have to tie or untie another damn knot in them ever again!

But Pinguys are for tensioning lines on tarps and tents, securing cord around bundles, and holding down gear only. They're not for winching, hauling, or rappelling. They are absolutely not for supporting human weight under any circumstances whatsoever, and my lawyers tell me the phrase I should use about this is, "Otherwise serious injury or death may occur." But I say this instead: You'll go splat, and that's a really bad time!

Paracord is not included with your packet of Pinguys. You're on your own with that.



The Pinguys design has been verified with the above pictured highly rigorous and deeply scientific testing regimen: I made several, tied them to the hammock post in my back yard, hooked up my crane scale to one end, and yanked the shit out of the entire assemblage using a big ratchet strap as a come-along. As above, the cord let go before the penguin did. In terms of raw break strength, bigger is better this time!



At Least Two Ways To Use

Out of probably dozens I haven't even thought of. Method 1: With your Pinguy kept in place on a single line, affix your line at one end (possibly with a loop passed through a grommet or similar) and tension the standing free end from a stake or other anchor point.



Method 2: You can tie a Pinguy to a loop, possibly of an elastic cord if you're a shock cord kind of camper, and tension a separate line that's anchored to something on the other end however you like.